Public Domain Poetry And Stories - Roy Butler by Edgar Lee Masters
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Roy Butler

    By Edgar Lee Masters



        If the learned Supreme Court of Illinois
        Got at the secret of every case
        As well as it does a case of rape
        It would be the greatest court in the world.
        A jury, of neighbors mostly, with "Butch" Weldy
        As foreman, found me guilty in ten minutes
        And two ballots on a case like this:
        Richard Bandle and I had trouble over a fence
        And my wife and Mrs. Bandle quarreled
        As to whether Ipava was a finer town than Table Grove.
        I awoke one morning with the love of God
        Brimming over my heart, so I went to see Richard
        To settle the fence in the spirit of Jesus Christ.
        I knocked on the door, and his wife opened;
        She smiled and asked me in.
        I entered -    She slammed the door and began to scream,
        "Take your hands off, you low down varlet!"
        Just then her husband entered.
        I waved my hands, choked up with words.
        He went for his gun, and I ran out.
        But neither the Supreme Court nor my wife
        Believed a word she said.



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